By Michelle Garneau

Be Part of Making the Decisions that will Shape Your Future

Divorce is a life-changing event.

Many people going through this process say they are overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. A mixture of emotions overtakes them – they are hurt, confused and feeling vulnerable.

What are my rights, where will I live, what will happen with the children and will I have enough money to make it? Living in a state of limbo, uncertainty and chaos is often how it is described.

If you are experiencing something similar, you are not alone – this is very common when going through a divorce.

Divorce mediation is a way for you to take charge of your situation and keep control of the decisions you will need to make during your separation and divorce.

You meet in a private setting with a mediator who acts as your guide, assisting you in having open discussions making sure you are both being heard and helping you to manage your conflict.

Frequently, people tell me they don’t want to be in the same room together or have face-to-face conversations. They may not even be on speaking terms, but they are willing to give it a try.

Divorce mediation gives people the opportunity to clear up misunderstandings, voice concerns and talk about what is important to them. It is quite different than having the same old discussion over and over where they get nowhere, end up arguing or in tears – sound familiar?

A mediator doesn’t take sides or make decisions for you, instead they make sure that you are both heard and that each of your needs and interests are taken into consideration about matters such as parenting schedules, child support and distribution of your assets and debts.

People using divorce mediation are pleasantly surprised with how successful they are in resolving their issues using this process. They often come into a meeting not speaking or making eye contact and there is tension.

As the conversation progresses, people feel they are finally being heard by one another and miscommunications are cleared up – then a shift occurs. People let their defenses down, look directly at one another and tension subsides. A mediator can almost become invisible at times.

Using divorce mediation can get you through your divorce in a more positive way by having direct conversations with one another, making your own decisions, keeping your money for you and your family and getting matters that are important to you resolved in a quick and private manner.

This article was published in the Divorce Magazine in the 2018 issue.