By Michelle Garneau
We have all known people who have had a stressful and difficult time going through a divorce.
Some couples do remain civil, but many end up fighting, going to court and negatively impacting their emotional and physical health.
When children are involved, they also can end up in emotional turmoil if they are exposed to arguing between their parents.
Keeping your cool during this turbulent time can be challenging.
Here are 6 Ways to Stop Fighting during a Divorce:
1. Think about what you want to discuss with your spouse before you have a conversation with them.
Make a list of what you need to talk about and make some short points about each matter.
The more prepared you are for the conversation, the more likely you are to stay on track and the less likely you are to get into an argument. You can even suggest to your spouse that they do the same.
2. Approach your spouse in a businesslike or non-threatening manner.
This will reduce the chance of your spouse becoming defensive.
Also, do your best to keep your voice down. When we yell, people shut down and we cannot be heard.
3. Focus on your children and what is best for them.
If there are issues you and your spouse are not seeing eye-to-eye on, refrain from having these discussions in front of the children or when they are in earshot. They may take your fighting personally and think that it is their fault.
4. Communicate by e-mail, text or through a communication book if there is high conflict between the two of you or if you find it very difficult to have a conversation without an argument breaking out.
Writing gives you time to think about what you want to say, and to go over it and make changes. Your spouse will have the chance to read these communications when it’s convenient and to process the information before responding.
Just keep in mind that when we communicate in writing, much of our body language is missing so we need to be very clear about what we want to say.
5. Prepare yourself to compromise with your spouse.
Try to come up with different options beforehand. Think about what is most important to you and what you are willing to bend on. You could suggest to your spouse that they do this as well.
6. Last, but not least, consider taking a seminar that helps separated parents to communicate better or teaches about how to co-parent.
There are also professionals who can assist you such as a mental health person who specializes in divorce counselling or a family mediator.
If you are experiencing challenges with your separation or divorce, please contact us for information on mediation and how you can resolve issues in a less stressful and more economical way.
We can be reached at 780-417-3119 or you can book a free phone consultation online.